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"Miss," I said, "May I be of service?" If you please," she said sweetly, pulling up her dress with her thumbs, "These gentlemen have worn out heir welcome." I say," croaked the one nearest me, "really Deborah, that is crude." It's not your business," said the one sitting across from me who, I quickly decided, was the son of the fat one. He sneered at me. "You infernal mechanics don't know your place."I stood out in the aisle and gestured."Go to hell," cried the slim young man.I grabbed him by the back of his coat collar and yanked him to his feet. The older man cried, "Wait. We are leaving, Isaac. It is what she wants."I nodded to him and he took his son's elbow and led him toward the front door. "You shall pay for this, you interloper," the younger man cried.After they left, I sat down and smiled at the girl, waving at a serving girl. "Care for a beer?" I asked."Cider, please," she said, "and thank you. They were getting to be boring."I introduced myself and she said she was Deborah. And God looked down and saw that it was good.Then God considered the function of bladders and decided seniors would have additional calls of nature, requiring more trips to the bathroom, thus providing more exercise. God looked down and saw that it was good.So if you find as you age, you are getting up and down more, remember it’s God’s will. It is all in your best interest even though you mutter under your breath. Nine Important Facts to Remember as We Grow Older#9 Death is the number 1 killer in the world.#8 Life is sexually transmitted.#7 Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.#6 Men have 2 motivations: hunger and hanky panky, and they can’t tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.#5 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.#4 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.#3 All of us.
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